Final days of serenity.

As I approach the last days. The last days of an experience that has moulded me into a person that I have become. Something is static with fear in leaving such an awesome direction. 

In the past year and a half my life has gone from turmoil to turmoil. Like all good books that follow it's set story line. I have found myself in a different disposition but one that is just as chaotic as the one I went into this venture. I remember when I signed up for this path, a scattered and obscene character, darken with addictions that were inevitably tearing my clutch on reality from with under my feet. Something had to give. 

Joining the forces of understanding I gave away a lot of what I considered in a past life to be real. A lot of the friendships that I formed on my previous path were soon transformed into dust. I was no longer a spiral with a crew of bubbles to call my self emptiness. I was actually the empty bath. 

Through out the period of forced isolation I wooed and fondled with the extreme madness that only pure isolation could put on my plate. I moved through it. It was a little task I wanted to see what was to be of.

It was like the first scientist that discovered an atom. You really just want to know what the extension of this knowledge will entail. The thing with such volatility is that the dangers and discoveries that can be found can often lead to unfavorable outcomes.

This is an exploration into life.

Everything that I have learned in the last 18 months, the new people that I have met, the old friends I have kept, the new ideals that I have learnt and the new me that I have created... has only left me with searing fact that we are usually alone on this mortal coil and that if you choose to embark on such a chaotic horizon then we must forgive and forget the people, things, knowledge that we once held so closely too, to just fall away.

Fall. Away.

The idea that I would make friends or thoughts... never occurred to me that the art of doing so, often meant I was having to say a long an often private goodbye to what I saw so steadfast.

In a digital social medium, where friends and connections are the sure fire way to grab a perspective of eternity, we forget that there is a much deeper mission.

The exploration of oneself.

There is a term that usually is commended by the man on the field, the man in the forrest and the man with the nets set cast away to absorb the fish to feed the families and communities in which they are destined for, and that is... sometimes darling, you must extrapolate the dead wood from the existing and the living in order to move forward positively.

The aforementioned has been one that is, in my mind, considered the last bastion of my own personal discovery.

If a man digs a hole on his 18th birthday, should that man be still considering it as part of his personal portfolio on his 58th?

I fear the direction of social connectivity has mad us to believe so.

But, in a personal and often very very very painful exploration into human existence is that mostly, the person we spend 3 weeks with, the person we spend 3 years with and the person we spend 3 score with... are completely different.

With the ability to scour my headspace for anecdotal evidence of how I have tried so desperately, through lack of inability to forget, to hold onto the people that were arrived in my earlier years and try and place them on the board of a modern life table. I have realised that while it is exceptionally futile, the sheer act is down right destructive.

One is one. One must move in a way that one is intended. Evolution has pointed this out in many instances i.e. from the simple monkey that out grew the clan and walked on to start the new generation of monkeys that formed the first homo erectus... the Bible with all it's descriptive fables, taught us the outstanding ability of one, and the movement of one from circumstance to another, the Koran, sent one man to the mountain and the rest followed and even the Satanic Bible  said "Do as one pleases but do not harm no one"

I am not advocating secluded isolation  for everyone, its not something that everyone can see for oneself, they just do not have the framework for... but it must be a thought that must be considered. 

You are as powerful as you choose to make yourself. It is your world, it is your precious prize. 

We all need each other... but we are no good to each other if we allow our hearts and minds to be bogged down by each other. Please, take a step. Jump into the beautiful light that you are, recognise its magnificence.

Because if you do, no one else need apply.

Love.